With Prince Charming
by Lokhart
Summary: This is not the same old Princess Zelda fic. Zelda has to marry horror of horrors Ganondorf! Ch. 3 up!
1. You're kidding me right?

Lok: Hello again! I dreamed of this story last night. (Yah… I know. I have weird dreams, and you'd know that if you read my OTHER Zelda fic. 0.o) Anyway, I completely threw out the Zelda OoT and MM storylines, and I gave everyone (except Princess Zelda) COMPLETELY different roles! It's strange, but I really think it's worth it!

Pikester: sips green tea It certainly SOUNDS good… From what you told me.

Lok: Hopefully… lol.

Full Summary: Princess Zelda has a new suitor: The Prince of Thieves, Ganondorf. He's certainly handsome, but is his looks worth his rotten attitude? Zelda soon realizes that Ganondorf is not cut out for her, but what can she do? Then Malon, the stablehand for the castle (and milk deliver lady), hires a new stablehand: Link. (O.o) Zelda finds out a bit about this handsome stable hand from Malon, and slowly falls in love with Link. She even spends as much time as she can with the lowly former hero. And the Wedding is coming closer every single day!! … See the problem?

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With Prince Charming

Ch. 1. You're Kidding me… Right?

(Setting: Princess Zelda's room.)

It was already late afternoon; light shone from the Princess' window, bathing the whole room in sunlight. Zelda was still in bed- that is, until someone rudely knocked at her door.

BANG BANG BANG!!

"Princess Zelda!! Please come out and get ready!" Zelda's maid knocked from outside. "Your father wants you!" Zelda groaned. Couldn't she sleep in peace just _once?_

"Just a min…ute…" Zelda yawned, sitting up slowly. She tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes, but it was no use. Zelda had to use all her will power just to drag herself out, and open her door. Her snippy maid, tapping her foot, was waiting with a sour face. Zelda just yawned in her maid's face, brushing her beautiful head of hair back.

"Princess! That's no way to act!! Your father has arranged for you to meet your future husband at breakfast! So get up, wash up, and clean your room!!" She snapped, waving her hand in front of her face, as if Zelda had a bad case of morning breath. At the words, "your future husband," Zelda snapped back to reality.

"Pardon me? My… future husband?" Zelda was confused. She didn't hear anything about "future husbands" before… As far as she was concerned, she was gonna be single and flirty all of her life.

" Are you deaf, child? Hurry to the bathing room!" Her maid said, pushing Zelda out of her room.

" Hey, wait!! How come I never heard of a future husband?!?" Zelda wailed as she was pushed to the bathing room.

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(Setting: The Castle Dining Hall)

Zelda couldn't help feeling a bit… damp. She was still wet from bathing just 10 minutes ago, and her hair was still a bit wet. She was wearing her 'best clothes,' which was just a simple but elegant pink gown, with elbow-length gloves. Just then, one of the servants came with a plateful of food, carefully setting it down on the table.

" Ooh, food!" Zelda cheered, and tried to grab some. Lord Rainier, her advisor and good friend, slapped her hand away. " Ow! What did you do that for?" Zelda sounded slightly hurt.

" Princess, your future husband will come anytime. Be on your best behavior!" Lord Ranier warned. At the moment, only Zelda and Lord Rainier were sitting at the table.

" I know, I know…" Zelda sighed. " I just wish someone told me about my husband before. I mean, it's so stupid, this whole 'arranged marriage' deal! I don't even know the guy, and Father expects me to marry him? What if he's ugly? What if he's mean? What if-"

"Calm down, child. I'm sure your Father has chosen the best man for you." Lord Rainier replied calmly. Zelda twirled a strand of her hair with her index finger.

"Oh yeah? Since when did Father know _me?_" She retorted. Before Lord Rainier could reply, the door to the Dining Hall opened with a bang.

A giant of a man then strode in. He had handsome features; bronze skin, fiery red hair, and a chiseled face, as if a master sculptor created him. He had the clothes of Gerudo Royalty. But what struck Zelda most about him was… his piercing yellow eyes. It was a mark of a fearsome man, used to danger and war. Zelda shivered in spite of herself.

The man surveyed the room, looking all around, and finally stopped his gaze at Zelda.

"You must be the Princess…" He said with such arrogance, that Zelda was taken aback. How can a man as good-looking as he be so rude?

"Yes, I am she," Zelda made sure to sound dignified, raising her chin as she said so. Lord Rainier was simply silent. The man smirked.

"As you know, I am your future husband. The future king of Hyrule, Ganondorf!" He said, bowing. "It's not hard to believe that you have such breathtaking looks, Princess." His grin was full of mischief. "After all, you do take after your mother! Thank the goddesses!" He joked.

"You know, your joke was very rude… And I'm the one who's supposed to be polite." Zelda said stiffly, rolling her eyes. Lord Rainier poked her in the ribs. " Ow!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, 'Princess'." Ganon said, sitting down on the chair opposite Zelda, sitting like a teenager on a couch would. " You know, I think I'm gonna enjoy living here…" He said, burping rudely, and looked at Zelda to see her reaction. Zelda refused to let her disgust show, but later, she was going to have to talk to her father later.

Ganon was bad news.   
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(Setting: Hyrule Stables)

Malon, the royal stable hand, whistled as she worked. After all, why not? Malon enjoyed her job. Lon Lon Ranch, her father's ranch, had been struggling long ago. But the kind King of Hyrule offered Malon the job as the royal stable hand, and Malon could send her hard earned money back home. Now Lon Lon Ranch was flourishing, and so was the King's Horses.

" Hello, Midnight Fire! How are you doing?" She greeted one of the horses. As you can probably guess, Midnight Fire was completely black, except for the white star on her forehead. Midnight Fire greeted Malon with a happy neigh. " Hey, I guess you're glad to see me too, boy!" Malon rubbed Midnight Fire's back.

" Uh… Malon? You free today?" Zelda popped her head in the stable. Malon turned around, and smiled. She and Zelda had become fast friends when they first met. Now Zelda talked to Malon about anything and everything, and Malon did likewise. Zelda also helped Malon with her chores.

" Oh, Princess! … Well, not exactly… But do you wanna help old cowgirl here?" Malon said. Zelda grinned.

" Sure… But I wanna talk to you about something…" Zelda said meekly, coming inside. She was dressed like Malon, a plain t-shirt, a skirt, and an apron.

" Let me guess… Is it about your fiancée, Prince Ganny?" Malon said, brushing Midnight Fire's mane. Zelda blushed a fiery red.

" How the heck didja know I was gonna talk about that?!?" Zelda stooped to pick up another brush, and went to brush Pure Heart's mane, another horse.

" Um, because it's written all over your face?" Malon smirked. " Besides, I heard you just met him this morning. How was he?" Zelda didn't say anything for a minute, brushing Pure Heart's mane in silence.

" … He's horrible." Zelda finally said. Malon almost fell over.

" Uh, did I hear wrong? You say he's horrible? But he's your fiancé!!" Malon was confused. How can you marry someone you absolutely dislike?

" No, you didn't…" Zelda sighed. " And besides, it's different for you, Malon. You're a normal person…"

" Thanks… I think…" Malon replied. Zelda giggled.

" I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I'm royalty; you're not. You can marry any guy you like. But me? My stupid dad arranged my marriage." Zelda said.

" Aw, hey… Don't say your dad's stupid! Besides, I'm sure Ganny isn't _that _bad. Uh… right?" Malon sweat dropped.

" Sure, I guess. I mean, if you like what he says to you, like, 'I like your rack. Is your cup size D?'." Malon face faulted.

" Okay, I guess I take it back…" She murmured, feeling very sorry for her royal friend.

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Lok: So far, I like how this story started! I won't update until I get at least 5 reviews! And I don't mean flames. I mean constructive criticism!

Pikester: Listen to the lady, dudes!


	2. A very WRONG chapter

Lok: Inspiration usually comes to me quickly during the first few chapters. So, here goes!

Pikester: Don't forget to say thanks!!

Lok: Oh yeah. -;;

Thank yews:

Jaina-Fel: Thanks. I wouldn't have thought of it myself either. 0.o

(Pikester: Then how did you do it? Lok: It's one of the many mysteries of the human mind…)

TemplarofNi: Yeah, it is getting really fun to write this!

Ayachan21: Thanks… Wait, it MIGHT not be a L/Z romance, depending on what direction this fic will take.

Angelida: Thanks. laughs

BB: Yeah, I know, right? 0.o

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(Zetting: Outside The King of Hyrule's room; 5:00 P.M.)

Zelda lightly knocked on her father's door. Although she wanted to talk to her father about Ganny before dinner, she didn't necessarily want to talk to _him._ Zelda knocked again, harder, because no one had opened the stupid door yet, let alone answer her knock. Zelda decided to do something completely stupid and dangerous. She pressed her left ear on the door, straining to hear whatever was going on in her father's room. Gradually, Zelda heard something… But it wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. She heard _moaning- _and other, er, sounds. _YUK! _Zelda thought, sick with nausea. _My father… Doing it?!? _(A/N: Honestly, who wants to think about their parents having sex? Ew!) Suddenly, Zelda heard them talking- well, at least it sounded like talking.

"Oh dear… Must get the door…" Zelda heard her father say. "Pauline, you stay in the closet, alright? We don't want anyone to find out about… us." _OK, so my father's like, 60, and he can still get women. Either she's just playing him, or she's ugly. Probably both, _Zelda thought.

"Ok, you handsome devil!" Pauline giggled. Zelda made a retching motion. She then heard the sound of a door opening, and then closing.

"Come in," the king drawled. Zelda opened the door slowly, looking away from the King. After all, she didn't want to see the state her father was in. When she finally did take the chance, she saw that her father was indeed covered in his sheets. _Phew,_ Zelda sighed inwardly with relief.

"Oh… Zelda." The king sounded slightly surprised. "What is it, darling?" Zelda coughed nervously. She couldn't stop her eyes from looking to the closet- where Pauline was.

"Er… Daddy… It's about Ganny- I mean, Ganondorf." Zelda stammered.

"Oh, started making a nickname for him, eh?" The King chuckled.

"Be serious!"

"Ok… So, what about 'Ganny?'"

"I just don't think it's going to work out…"

"Oh, what makes you think so?"

"Well…I just think that me and him having se- I mean, no! That didn't come out right!" Zelda was horrified. _Damn that Pauline! _She thought her face on fire. The king tried to hide his smile, but couldn't successfully hide it. So Zelda started again.

"What I meant o say was…" Zelda said slowly. "I don't think Ganny's meant for me…" Zelda finished. The king nodded, as if he understood.

"Ok… Well, I'll see how he's like at dinner, darling. Does that make you feel better?"

"Okay," Zelda said happily. Maybe things would work out then. Zelda hurried out of the King's room, leaving him alone with Pauline again.

(Zetting: Hyrule Castle; Dining Hall)

Zelda's face was not a pretty sight during dinner. All throughout dinner, Ganon had been polite to everyone, making small talk and passing food to people who asked for it.

_That stinking bastard…_Zelda thought angrily. She knew what the King of Hyrule must be thinking right now…_ 'Oh goddesses, how can my daughter be so stupid? This man's perfect for her!' _Ooh, that made her blood boil. She should have known Ganny would fake manners in front of the king.

" Zelda, what are you doing?" Someone said, shaking Zelda out of her thoughts. Zelda looked around to see who said that. Of all people, it was Ganon!

I'm eating. What else?" Zelda said flatly. Ganon grinned deviously, a dangerous twinkle in his eye.

" No need to be _rude,_ princess. It's just that your mashing your already mashed potatoes!" Ganon pointed out. Zelda looked down at her plate. She blushed, and stuck aforkful of food in her mouth.

_This… is hell._ She thought.

Lok: I really like this chapter! Look for the next one after 7 more reviews!


	3. Link the Stable Boy

Lok: Oh gosh, I'm sorry y'all for the looooooooooooooooong absence. But the thing is, I actually have a reasonable explanation of my extended leave... I've been out of the country (the States) for the past year... In a country where the internet isn't exactly top priority. Let's just say I've been in the middle of nowhere for the past 11 months. ;; Anyways, I hope you'll notice (if you still read this fic) that my writing has improved a teensy bit since last year.. Anyways, enjoy! D Hopefully... You also might notice that it's not as retarded sounding as my previous chappies... They were pretty hectic and written basically on a whim. But I'll try to take this a bit more seriously this time around... And I'll probably re-write the earlier chapters... Just a warning, that's all. But I'm probably boring you guys. On with the story! Kicks Pikester

Pikester: Ouch! Lok says thank you for all your kind reviews (even though she didn't get off her lazy ass enough to write the next chapter until now) Gets kicked again Ow!

Lok; Don't forget the disclaimer.

Pikester: grumpily Lok doesn't own Zelda so screw you.

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With Prince Charming

Ch. 3: Link the Stable Boy

It was a beautiful late summer afternoon in the land of Hyrule. Zelda was once again at the Royal ranch, re-confiding last night's nauseating events to her best friend.

"Oh, Goddess. You just have _no _idea," said the princess, her long, graceful figure leaning against the slowly decaying fence. "It was pretty much the worst night of my life!" Malon was beside her friend, nodding sympathetically.

"I'm sorry for you, girl," drawled she. "Can't imagine your pain at all!" All the same, there was a hint of sarcasm in the red-haired girl's tone. "But now, if you ex-cayuse me, I need to be puttin' the cows away from pasture before evenin'."

"Oh, fine." Zelda leaned back even further, sighing grumpily as she did so. "Leave me here. Some friend you are!" But Malon only smiled, leaving Zelda to her woes.

Once her friend left, Zelda fell onto the grass and drew into her 'sulking' posture. Oh, she knew she was acting like a child, but she didn't really care. All her life, Zelda had to act beyond her years; who was she to deny the occasional childish tantrum now that she was actually 'of age'? Giving herself up to her emotions, the princess dropped her head to her knees as tears filled her wide, innocent eyes.

"...Er, miss?" Said a voice from somewhere above her. Startled, Zelda quickly wiped her tears away and looked up at whoever had spoken. It was a boy, younger-or perhaps the same age- than she was. He had long, blonde hair fell nearly to his shoulders, and a lanky, taut stature. There was a bit of stubble on his chin, a rather delicate nose for a man, and the most beautiful pair of eyes that Zelda had ever seen on a man or woman. She noticed as well that he had the clothes of a servant, albeit a bit dirty from mud and other unmentionables- plus, he smelled of manure. The guy smiled at her; perhaps he thought her as a girl from town... It's not like she was wearing her royal robes of office or anything. "The ranch is closing up for visitors. I just thought you'd like to know." Zelda had to laugh. This guy had to be one of the biggest country bumpkins she had ever met. For a citizen of Hyrule not to know what the princess looked like!

"Thank you, but I live here," said Zelda, meaning of course the castle. She didn't mention what _why _she lived there, at least not just yet... It would be fun to hide her 'secret' from him a little while longer. "So you're the new stable hand helping Malon? What's your name?"

"Er..." The man seemed at a loss, then recovered. "Er, I guess you could call me Link."

"You guess?" The princess could not keep the tone of incredulousness from her voice.

"Well, I dunno. That's what I've been called ever since I was little, after me ma died. I was taken in by... kind people in the forest just south of here. I'm pretty sure that's not my real name, but I guess it's not that important, is it."

At the boy's statement, Zelda's eyebrows raised. The Kokiri forest? The same forest that was said to have fairies and elven people, with their great Tree Guardian, and this boy...

"You... You're not a Kokiri, are you?" She blurted out without thinking, and realized her mistake. For one thing, this Link was clearly of Hyrulean lineage. The Kokiri were said to be short in stature and childlike. This boy did seem a tad innocent, but he wasn't a munchkin. Link blinked.

"You know about the Kokiri?" He asked her, looking troubled. "Not many people know about them..."

"Oh, right... Well, I've just heard of stories in the kitchens where I work, you know... I just thought I asked, is all," Zelda said quickly. "You know how they are... Blabbing about the randomnest things sometimes." She privately filed the fact however, that, as a result of the boy's slip-up, there were apparently real Kokiri in the Southern Forests. Link didn't seem to believe her, but didn't question her further. "Well, anyways, thanks for letting me know." She stood up and brushed the clumps of dirt and grass off her worn overalls. "I should be uh, getting back to the Kitchens before I get whipped. Tell Malon I'll see her later, alright?" She hurried off without waiting for Link's response, eager to get away before her lie unraveled around her feet.

She was never any good at lying, anyways.

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"You sent for me, princess?" A clean Malon stood at the princesses' doorway, waiting for Zelda's reply before entering.

"Yeah, come in, come in!" Zelda looked up from the book she was reading, and patted at a spot beside her. "Sit."

"Huh. I wanted to talk to you about something too, Zelda," Malon said, marching up to Zelda's bed and plopping down unceremoniously on the 'spot.' "My new stable boy was saying something about a kitchen girl who knew about Kokiri and junk. It wouldn't happen to be you, would it?" Zelda winced at her friend's tone. She knew it had been wrong, but...

"Well... Yeah, it was me. I just thought it was odd that he didn't know what I looked like.. I mean, you know. The Princess Zelda." She rushed on, before Malon had a chance to retaliate. "And, I just thought it would be fun to pretend to be someone else, you know? Especially with... _him_ around nowadays. I just want to have a little fun, is all." At this, Malon's expression softened. She could never be mad at Zelda for long, and vice versa.

"I still don't think Ganondorf's all that bad, honey. He's quite a catch, if you ask me!" She said. Malon was about to say more about the subject when she saw the look on her friend's face and went back to the original topic. "Er... yeah. What's with all the Kokiri crap? You know it's just a myth... And what were you blabbing about that to him for?"

"He was the one who mentioned that he lived in the Kokiri Forest," retorted Zelda. "I just let it slip about the Kokiri, and he was the one who acted like they were real. I--" A knock at the open doorway cut her short.

"Excuse me princess, Malon. Sir Ganondorf has requested a meeting privately with the princess at the balcony area tonight, at 8 o' clock." With that, the servant left.

Zelda groaned audibly. "Malon, what time is it? Wait, don't tell me, I don't want to know."

"Er... well, you should go about now. I expect he's expectin' you now, babe." Malon said, feeling sorry for her friend once again. Zelda groaned again and slid off her bed to wear something a bit more appropriate than a slip.

"Meh.. Whatever. Wish me luck."

"All the luck you need, hon."

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There he was, waiting for her at the spot he had promised, the moon giving his figure an eerie glow. Zelda frowned despite herself, but continued until she stood next to him.

"Sir Ganondork- I mean, Ganondorf. I have accepted your request. What is your need of my presence?" She said, careful not to look up at his face, lest her own betrayed her feelings.

"Blast it, skip the pleasantries, girl!" Snapped Ganondorf, the 'charm' obviously gone from the tone of his voice. "You know what I want, and I'll get it no matter what. And **you will help me.**"

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir, but you have no right to talk to me like that," Zelda said coldly, now looking up at the Desert Prince with an equally distant gaze. Ganondorf was snarling, his fists clenching and unclenching in sync with his breathing. Zelda could smell something in his breath-- alcohol, she presumed.

"Now you listen to me," said Ganondorf, lowering his face to hers so that their noses almost touched. "Tomorrow, there will be other suitors, coming in from distant lands. But you will choose me." He grabbed her by the shoulders, and she could not get away from his grasp; it was simply too tight. "I want you girl. I want your money. Your kingdom. But most of all...Your body." He held her to himself even closer, as if to emphasize his last statement. "I will have you, and you will choose me, or else..."

Zelda knew better than to struggle further against him. "Or else what?"

He looked into her eyes, and she saw with a shudder that there was no light in his eyes- it was devoid of anything that looked alive.

"Consequences that you will regret," he said, and a chill ran down her spine.

He let her go, and she ran, too afraid to do anything else but lock herself up in her room.

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Lok: Whoa, this chapter is considerably a different tone from the other chapters. 0.o;; Even I didn't expect it!

Pikester: drily What a surprise.

Lok: Shaddup. I suppose this was bound to be a slightly darker chapter.. Can't fit much humor into these events. ;; Sorry to all those readers who expected another 'humorous' chapter...But next chapter, I promise, will be more humorous. I swear it upon my mother's right pinky. )


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